The first post

A Color Witch's foray into liminal online spaces (a blog).

This is more stream-of-consciousness than anything because I've been trying to start a blog now for over a year. Every time I start creating a post, I become overwhelmed with the information I want to share. It feels like there isn't a way to express everything I need to say without going on for pages and pages.

I have dozens of starts and stops: half-finished blog posts sticking to one topic then sprawling into five; emails 3/4ths done that I just can't bring myself to send; tips, confessionals, real lived experiences that will make all the difference to the right people.

Yet I keep coming back to questions like:
"How can I make this blog post better?"
"How can I optimize this email?"
"How can I polish the stones of what I've said until they shine?"

And I guess what it means is that if I don't start sharing messily, I won't be sharing at all.

So I'm starting from scratch and throwing polished words away. There will come days and times where such things make sense to me, and I will follow them faithfully, but for now I just need to write. I know there are people who will read my blog and it will change everything for them, sparking some unknown inside them which calls out to be heard. I will give that small voice hope, sound, power, strength. I will give it shape until it takes form within those people and they find what they have been missing in all their searching.

I know this because I have read so many blog posts, decades old even, that sparked something similar within myself.

It is now time that I pay these thoughts forward, that I leave regrets and half-finished words behind. Like poetry will the new and messy bits sparkle freely now. Maybe I need to get used to the messiness of art. I want to be neat, tidy, presentable in the moment; yet in the moment, I can only be a vessel for the thoughts which are flowing freely from me onto the page. I want things to be "in order," chronologically and logically speaking; but maybe I've been fooling myself. Maybe order only arises after the chaos of creation. Maybe some day I'll come back and delete this then old post, laughing while I say, "Wow, that sure was shit!!!"

But before I self-indulgently critique my own writing, I first have to write.

And write I shall.